Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 3 - A Uniform Consistency

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

3. Windbag the Sailor (1936)

I do like to see a man in uniform. If you’re wondering why I tolerate Mr Godby’s attentions there’s your answer and I’ll thank you to stop asking personal questions. But yes, it is why I had to move away from Portsmouth.

That’s probably why I’m such a fan of Will Hay. He’s been up there on that big screen making us laugh dressed in a railway uniform (ahem), a fireman’s uniform, a policeman’s uniform…excuse me while I mop my brow with this tea towel.

Well to cut a long story short I was recently gripped by his “Windbag the Sailor”. This came at a particularly convenient time because I had been charged with thinking up a menu for the Milford WI’s annual beetle drive and dinner in aid of comforts for sailors. And could I think of something a bit different than the usual fare? No, I was quite flummoxed. But dear Will in “Windbag” soon sorted me out. You see, there’s a scene when Will, the fat lad and the old man are set adrift on a raft with nothing to eat except some biscuits. And to make matters worse, they had a radio that picked up a cookery show. Here’s what was on the menu:

Tomato Soup

Lobster in aspic

Roast duck

Celery, coffee and nuts.

All very nice, although I thought that the tomato soup bit was a bit plain and uninspiring. So I looked up a recipe in my “Good Cook’s Encyclopedia” edited by Pamela Fry, and found a lovely recipe that was unnecessarily complicated:

Tomato Soup

1lb Tomatoes

2 Carrots

2 Onions

Bacon rinds

1oz Sugar

Salt & pepper

½ pint Milk

2 Potatoes

Bouquet garni

2oz Fat

1oz Flour

Stock

Fry bacon rinds in a thick saucepan, add 1oz fat and fry the sliced onions lightly. Chop up the tomatoes and dice the potatoes and carrots. Add to the saucepan, place on lid and cook gently over a low heat for 15 minutes, shaking occasionally. Add the bouquet garni, sugar, salt and pepper, cover the vegetables with stock and simmer until quite tender. Rub through a sieve, rinse the pan and melt the remaining fat into it. When hot, make a roux with the flour, gradually stir in the milk and then gradually add the sieved puree. Reheat and season again if necessary. Add more milk or stock if it is too thick, or if too thin thicken with a little flour blended with water. The soup should be of a thick creamy consistency. Serve with croutons or with grated cheese.

On top of all that fuss, it is recommended that you make your own bouquet garni by ramming three sprigs of parsley, a sprig of thyme and a bay leaf in a little muslin bag.

I’m quite exhausted. It’s only the thought of the weekend in Liverpool with Doris delivering the comforts for sailors that’s keeping me going I must say.

There’s also plenty of men in uniform in the 1944 film “A Canterbury Tale” and I’ve written a collection of short stories about the original audience for the film in a south London cinema. 

Click here to download for 99p

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 2 - Giant Marrows

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^thcentury diet.

2. Two-Way Stretch (1960)

My friends are always saying to me, “Mrs Bagot, my husband’s given me a giant marrow and I haven’t the first idea what to do with it.” 

It’s mostly those friends whose husbands have an allotment…or a nice big garden and a terrible competitive streak. Given half the chance, all men will try to outdo each other. Especially when it comes to growing something.  If you ask me they want their heads banging together. I mean, who wants a giant marrow?

Just to illustrate my point there’s a film called “Two-Way Stretch” where that Peter Sellers and Bernard Cribbins are in prison, where they belong. In this prison there’s a garden where the prison governor is growing a marrow. He’s going to take it to the local show and he means to win a prize with it – outdoing everyone else because his is the biggest. Until of course the explosion in the quarry puts an end to that lark by squashing his marrow. Serve him right of course, he should be keeping an eye on the criminals he’s being paid to look after, not nurturing huge curcurbits.

So you see, there’s all these marrows going off to shows, and what happens after they’ve been judged and rosetted I ask you? That’s right. They get dumped onto already overworked wives who are expected to make use of it.

If you find yourself in possession of one of these blighters, here’s a couple of ideas from my “Main Cookery Book for Rural Gas.”

Stuffed Marrow

1 Nice-sized marrow

1lb Minced cooked meat

2oz Breadcrumbs

1 Egg

2oz Butter or dripping

1 Teaspoon mixed herbs

Seasoning

A little stock if necessary

Peel and cut the marrow in half, remove the seeds. Mix together the meat, crumbs, herbs and seasoning, add the well beaten egg. If very dry, add a little stock (or gravy). Stuff the marrow and tie the halves together. Melt the dripping in a tin, put in the marrow, and cook in a fairly hot oven till done, basting often. When nearly cooked, dredge well with flour, pepper and salt, baste and continue cooking until tender. Remove the string, and dish. Make a nice gravy with the fat in the tin and strain over the marrow.

As my friend Mr Godby pointed out, life is too short to baste a marrow. He much prefers his soaked in vinegar and mustard.

Marrow Pickle

1 Large marrow

1 ½ oz Mustard

1 ¼ lb Sugar

12 Chillies

2-3 Pints best vinegar

1 oz Powdered ginger

½ oz Powdered turmeric

1lb Shallots

12 Cloves

Peel and cut up the marrow into small cubes: there should be 4lb of marrow. Sprinkle with salt, and let it stand overnight; drain off the water. Mix to a paste the ginger, mustard and turmeric with a little vinegar. Bring to boiling point the sugar, onions finely minced, chillies, cloves and vinegar. Add the paste, mix well, then add the marrow, and cook till tender.

Anyway I can’t stand round here gossiping all day. I’ve got customers to serve and that girl Beryl seems to be having a series of coughing fits. I don't know what's wrong with the girl.

I've written a nice gentle novella about a gardening competition, why not have a look - click here

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 1 - Prune Cake

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

1. Holiday Camp (1947)

‘Holiday Camp’ is a very interesting film all about a family who take a holiday at one of those camp places just after the war. You wouldn’t catch me at one of those, they don’t give you a minute’s peace. All those disembodied voices ordering you about…I should be telling Mr Godby to make a complaint, even if it is Esmond Knight. Not that Mr Godby would be with me on holiday, as we are as yet unmarried. I shall be visiting my sister in Frinton for my holidays. And that poor girl that gets murdered at the end of the film, I should think that’s enough to put anyone off.

As is the pudding that is offered to the campers during the meal scene. Prunes and custard? On a holiday? Surely that is the sort of food that’s offered to a toddler when he’s being all cross because he’s bunged up. After they’ve eaten they all go off to the hall and do the “bobbing up and down like this” thing with Charlie Chester. Can you imagine what happened to people's insides doing all that jigging about after a dishful of prunes? The smell in there must have been quite appalling.

If you must have prunes for a pudding, this is what I recommend. It’s a lovely recipe from my Main Cookery Book for Rural Gas.

Prune Cake

8oz Flour

4oz Butter

4oz Prunes

3oz Sugar

2oz Syrup

½ gill Milk

1 Egg

¼ tsp Bicarb

Sieve the flour and the bicarb and rub in the fat.

Cut the prunes and add them with the sugar.

Beat the egg, add the syrup and milk, and mix into the dry ingredients. Bake in a tin 6” in diameter, in a very moderately heated oven, about halfway down, for half an hour.

If you do enjoy a good murder and that sort of thing, I’m sure some people do though heaven knows why, this download might be up your street. It’s only £1.29 which is cheaper than a glass of brandy, which incidentally I’m not allowed to serve until later.

Click here for some salacious goings on at the local Gaumont