Not Phyllis Calvert

 

Download this short story about a real life mix up involving Phyllis Calvert

The Gossipers' Association - Cicely Courtneidge and Thorley Walters

At the close of 1947, Cicely Courtneidge took her production of "Under The Counter" to tour Australia and New Zealand. The tour lasted for a year and she was accompanied at all times by her leading man, Thorley Walters. What was the relationship between the pair? This extended short story explores this, using Cicely's autobiography and contemporary newspaper reports as a string of clues.

Extract:

She said a headmistress style goodnight to each of the girls as they filed past, but as the surfing girl took her leave Cicely stopped her with a touch of the shoulder.

“A word, please.” She indicated that the girl should follow her into her own dressing room. The door was closed behind them and Cicely began immediately. “I absolutely forbid fraternisation between the lead cast and the supporting cast and dancers.  There will be no days at the beach with Mr Walters. Do you understand?” Cicely’s manicured fingers, which had been thrust in the face of the young girl dropped to her hips as she awaited response. She was almost holding herself upright. She was unconcerned about what the girl’s response might be. There were hundreds of dancers in Sydney anyway.

The girl, first incredulous, then rebellious, thought before she finally spoke.

“But Thor…Mr Walters…wants to learn how to surf, that’s all. My brother will teach him, not me…it’s all quite respectable, I assure you Miss Courtneidge.”

“Oh no, no, no. I might be an old woman in your green little eyes, but I was on stage when I was a teenager. I know exactly what you’re up to and I forbid it. If I catch you approaching any of the male members of the cast again you will be dismissed. I’m giving you a second chance to prove that you are not predatory, merely idiotic. You will tell Mr Walters that your brother is unable to give him lessons after all – you can make up your own reason why. Do you understand?”

The girl reached for the door handle, her cheeks flamed pink. “Yes, Miss Courtneidge.” Should have been her response. Things could have carried on as before. But she wasn’t the placid type. “Stick your second chance up your fat backside!” was what she actually hissed in return. She may have tossed an “old bag” over her shoulder as she made her way out, but Cicely couldn’t be sure.

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A Scene from "Under the Counter"

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 5 - A Revoluntionary Cake

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

5. I’m Alright Jack (1959)

I was very interested to see a film called “I’m Alright Jack” because it was about those trade unionist type people. It always fascinates me to see that those with funny ideas, quite different to your own, live similar lives to normal people. It was pleasing to notice that despite the Kite household being a socialist one, they still appreciate the value of a good cake.

Mrs Kite knows what a kitchen is for, and despite being severely tried by her almost Communist husband she can still find it in her to bake a solid cake to have on the table at teatime. That is what I call British resilience, despite all that talk about Russia.

Now I wanted to find a good recipe for a substantial cake, that might see you through any strike or revolution. I found rather an interesting one in my Main Cookery Book that I thought would suit a Socialist because it contains a tin of soup. Yes, you heard me quite correctly. Tomato soup to be exact.

Normally for my contributions to the History Usherette, I get Beryl to copy out the recipe and pass it on. But the Usherette said to me “Mrs Bagot, I don’t think anyone is going to quite believe that this recipe has really been published. You’ll have to take a photograph of it.” I do see her point. So I borrowed Mr Godby’s Box Brownie and he took the film to Boots. Here it is:

Make of that what you will. I for one will not be baking it but if you are left-wing then it might be quite alright for you to try.  I’m going to go and make some Bath buns, which I’m sure Winston Churchill would approve of.

The History Usherette has written a book of short stories inspired by the work of Joyce Grenfell, who never knowingly ate soup and cake in the same mouthful. Click here to purchase for the price of a tin of Heinz.

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 4 - Green Pea Puffs

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

4. The Tawny Pipit (1944)

It’s that time of year again. Time to hitch up your skirts, squat over a bowl and shell a few peas.

Mr Godby and I were watching a lovely film called “The Tawny Pipit” which is all about a rare bird taking up residence in a perfect English village.  Now, Mr Godby says to me, “You’re a rare bird yourself, Mrs Bagot, do you ever feel like going all rural and settling in the country?”

Well, I had to say to him, “No Mr Godby, I don’t. There are very few country railway stations that have a substantial buffet, and what would my life be without somewhere to sell my Bath buns? No, you can keep your countryside for day trips and films.”

But I was taken back by a scene in “The Tawny Pipit” where dear old Katie Johnson sits in her garden shelling peas. My old mother used to do much the same because living on the canal bank we used to have room for a few rows of peas. Every summer, there she would sit, popping away, the little green peas landing in the chamber pot where she normally kept her aspidistra. I did like the fresh peas. But I used to try and get to a few before she boiled them for 20 minutes and shovelled in half a pound of salt. Well, when you’ve left them in the pod for too long they can go a bit hard.

Here’s another recipe to disguise hard peas from Silvester’s Sensible Cookery:

Green Pea Puffs

¼ lb Cooked green peas

½ lb Mashed potatoes

1oz Margarine

1 egg

Pepper and salt

Add cooked peas to mashed potatoes, seasonings and egg; mix and place on a greased tin in rocky pieces, and bake 20 minutes.

That should obliterate them nicely.

Update:

Martin Allen (Twitter & Instagram: @martinallen72) kindly gave the Pea Puffs a whirl and reported the results.

Really rather fine. A bit mid-20th century bland - tastes as you’d expect, mash and peas. Not sure what the egg did but it was in there. Will definitely make again!

So now we know! Possible additions include cheese and spring onions. I feel Mr Godby would approve of that.

There’s gardening, village intrigue and prefabs in my novella “Temporary Accommodation”. It’s as cheap as marrowfat peas. Click here for some gentle summer reading

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 3 - A Uniform Consistency

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

3. Windbag the Sailor (1936)

I do like to see a man in uniform. If you’re wondering why I tolerate Mr Godby’s attentions there’s your answer and I’ll thank you to stop asking personal questions. But yes, it is why I had to move away from Portsmouth.

That’s probably why I’m such a fan of Will Hay. He’s been up there on that big screen making us laugh dressed in a railway uniform (ahem), a fireman’s uniform, a policeman’s uniform…excuse me while I mop my brow with this tea towel.

Well to cut a long story short I was recently gripped by his “Windbag the Sailor”. This came at a particularly convenient time because I had been charged with thinking up a menu for the Milford WI’s annual beetle drive and dinner in aid of comforts for sailors. And could I think of something a bit different than the usual fare? No, I was quite flummoxed. But dear Will in “Windbag” soon sorted me out. You see, there’s a scene when Will, the fat lad and the old man are set adrift on a raft with nothing to eat except some biscuits. And to make matters worse, they had a radio that picked up a cookery show. Here’s what was on the menu:

Tomato Soup

Lobster in aspic

Roast duck

Celery, coffee and nuts.

All very nice, although I thought that the tomato soup bit was a bit plain and uninspiring. So I looked up a recipe in my “Good Cook’s Encyclopedia” edited by Pamela Fry, and found a lovely recipe that was unnecessarily complicated:

Tomato Soup

1lb Tomatoes

2 Carrots

2 Onions

Bacon rinds

1oz Sugar

Salt & pepper

½ pint Milk

2 Potatoes

Bouquet garni

2oz Fat

1oz Flour

Stock

Fry bacon rinds in a thick saucepan, add 1oz fat and fry the sliced onions lightly. Chop up the tomatoes and dice the potatoes and carrots. Add to the saucepan, place on lid and cook gently over a low heat for 15 minutes, shaking occasionally. Add the bouquet garni, sugar, salt and pepper, cover the vegetables with stock and simmer until quite tender. Rub through a sieve, rinse the pan and melt the remaining fat into it. When hot, make a roux with the flour, gradually stir in the milk and then gradually add the sieved puree. Reheat and season again if necessary. Add more milk or stock if it is too thick, or if too thin thicken with a little flour blended with water. The soup should be of a thick creamy consistency. Serve with croutons or with grated cheese.

On top of all that fuss, it is recommended that you make your own bouquet garni by ramming three sprigs of parsley, a sprig of thyme and a bay leaf in a little muslin bag.

I’m quite exhausted. It’s only the thought of the weekend in Liverpool with Doris delivering the comforts for sailors that’s keeping me going I must say.

There’s also plenty of men in uniform in the 1944 film “A Canterbury Tale” and I’ve written a collection of short stories about the original audience for the film in a south London cinema. 

Click here to download for 99p

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 2 - Giant Marrows

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^thcentury diet.

2. Two-Way Stretch (1960)

My friends are always saying to me, “Mrs Bagot, my husband’s given me a giant marrow and I haven’t the first idea what to do with it.” 

It’s mostly those friends whose husbands have an allotment…or a nice big garden and a terrible competitive streak. Given half the chance, all men will try to outdo each other. Especially when it comes to growing something.  If you ask me they want their heads banging together. I mean, who wants a giant marrow?

Just to illustrate my point there’s a film called “Two-Way Stretch” where that Peter Sellers and Bernard Cribbins are in prison, where they belong. In this prison there’s a garden where the prison governor is growing a marrow. He’s going to take it to the local show and he means to win a prize with it – outdoing everyone else because his is the biggest. Until of course the explosion in the quarry puts an end to that lark by squashing his marrow. Serve him right of course, he should be keeping an eye on the criminals he’s being paid to look after, not nurturing huge curcurbits.

So you see, there’s all these marrows going off to shows, and what happens after they’ve been judged and rosetted I ask you? That’s right. They get dumped onto already overworked wives who are expected to make use of it.

If you find yourself in possession of one of these blighters, here’s a couple of ideas from my “Main Cookery Book for Rural Gas.”

Stuffed Marrow

1 Nice-sized marrow

1lb Minced cooked meat

2oz Breadcrumbs

1 Egg

2oz Butter or dripping

1 Teaspoon mixed herbs

Seasoning

A little stock if necessary

Peel and cut the marrow in half, remove the seeds. Mix together the meat, crumbs, herbs and seasoning, add the well beaten egg. If very dry, add a little stock (or gravy). Stuff the marrow and tie the halves together. Melt the dripping in a tin, put in the marrow, and cook in a fairly hot oven till done, basting often. When nearly cooked, dredge well with flour, pepper and salt, baste and continue cooking until tender. Remove the string, and dish. Make a nice gravy with the fat in the tin and strain over the marrow.

As my friend Mr Godby pointed out, life is too short to baste a marrow. He much prefers his soaked in vinegar and mustard.

Marrow Pickle

1 Large marrow

1 ½ oz Mustard

1 ¼ lb Sugar

12 Chillies

2-3 Pints best vinegar

1 oz Powdered ginger

½ oz Powdered turmeric

1lb Shallots

12 Cloves

Peel and cut up the marrow into small cubes: there should be 4lb of marrow. Sprinkle with salt, and let it stand overnight; drain off the water. Mix to a paste the ginger, mustard and turmeric with a little vinegar. Bring to boiling point the sugar, onions finely minced, chillies, cloves and vinegar. Add the paste, mix well, then add the marrow, and cook till tender.

Anyway I can’t stand round here gossiping all day. I’ve got customers to serve and that girl Beryl seems to be having a series of coughing fits. I don't know what's wrong with the girl.

I've written a nice gentle novella about a gardening competition, why not have a look - click here

Myrtle Bagot's Pages Part 1 - Prune Cake

Myrtle Bagot’s Pages

Chatelaine of Milford Station buffet explains all about our mid 20^th century diet.

1. Holiday Camp (1947)

‘Holiday Camp’ is a very interesting film all about a family who take a holiday at one of those camp places just after the war. You wouldn’t catch me at one of those, they don’t give you a minute’s peace. All those disembodied voices ordering you about…I should be telling Mr Godby to make a complaint, even if it is Esmond Knight. Not that Mr Godby would be with me on holiday, as we are as yet unmarried. I shall be visiting my sister in Frinton for my holidays. And that poor girl that gets murdered at the end of the film, I should think that’s enough to put anyone off.

As is the pudding that is offered to the campers during the meal scene. Prunes and custard? On a holiday? Surely that is the sort of food that’s offered to a toddler when he’s being all cross because he’s bunged up. After they’ve eaten they all go off to the hall and do the “bobbing up and down like this” thing with Charlie Chester. Can you imagine what happened to people's insides doing all that jigging about after a dishful of prunes? The smell in there must have been quite appalling.

If you must have prunes for a pudding, this is what I recommend. It’s a lovely recipe from my Main Cookery Book for Rural Gas.

Prune Cake

8oz Flour

4oz Butter

4oz Prunes

3oz Sugar

2oz Syrup

½ gill Milk

1 Egg

¼ tsp Bicarb

Sieve the flour and the bicarb and rub in the fat.

Cut the prunes and add them with the sugar.

Beat the egg, add the syrup and milk, and mix into the dry ingredients. Bake in a tin 6” in diameter, in a very moderately heated oven, about halfway down, for half an hour.

If you do enjoy a good murder and that sort of thing, I’m sure some people do though heaven knows why, this download might be up your street. It’s only £1.29 which is cheaper than a glass of brandy, which incidentally I’m not allowed to serve until later.

Click here for some salacious goings on at the local Gaumont

Sin in the cinema

In this latest History Usherette book, the torchlight sweeps across the cheap seats and reveals some very illegal goings-on. From spivs and prostitutes to murderers and mayhem, all human life went to the flicks with trouble in mind during the heyday of British cinema. The History Usherette brings together some of the most fascinating crimes, illuminating British society at its worst. Prepare to be appalled. 

There are five sections:
1. Heavens Above - the hand-wringing over the morality of the cinema
2. Too Many Crooks - the temptation of the weekly takings...and other things
3. Brief Encounter - the beastly antics of the men with busy hands
4. Bang! You're Dead - the perilous life of a cinema manager
5. The Happiest Days of Your Life - juvenile delinquents get into their groove

Click here to download

Spotlight on Ask a Policeman 4

What, With This Car?

The three heroes of “Ask a Policeman” have their cushy lives rumbled when the BBC come along to celebrate the “lack of crime” in Turnbotham Round. A letter from the powers that be states that as there is no crime in the village, there is no need for their jobs to exist. They then of course set themselves the task of defeating a few crimes in order to keep their paypackets, and the crime that they have chosen to defeat is speeding. Some of the best scenes in the film follow, as they measure out timings and distance and attempt to catch drivers in the act of breaking the law.

I wondered how much of a problem speeding actually was in 1939 – not nearly as much as today of course, when everyone has a car that is capable of going over the limit, and when our cars are such quiet and comfortable bubbles that people often speed without realising. But I searched the newspaper archive for reports on the subject from that year and found some quite amusing little snippets:

Sunderland Echo, May 1939

A fine of 40 shillings was imposed at Sunderland Crown Court today…Mr S was alleged to have travelled at speeds as high as 45 mph in a built up area. When told of the offence by P.C. R he replied “What? With this car?”

Express & Echo, April 1939

“How unkind of you” was the reply of a woman motorist of Taunton, when told by a police officer that she would be reported for having exceeded the 30 mph speed limit. She also observed “one does not notice the speed, does one?” She was fined £1.

Sheffield Evening Telegraph, August 1939

The Sheffield United goalkeeper was fined 40 shillings at Barnsley for his excessive speed. When asked to account for this, he replied that he was “in a hurry to get to Leeds.”

I’ve heard of people being in a hurry to get away from Leeds before, but never to the 3^rd best city in Yorkshire…

The outbreak of the war in September considerably reduced the number of speeding cases. From an average of 2,500 cases per month in the first part of the year, in November there were less than 1,000 cases.

Have a look at my book 'Roads to Corryvrekan' - set at the other end of WW2

Spotlight on Ask a Policeman 3

Harbottle’s Stores

Will Hay’s sidekicks, Moore Marriott (the old man) and Graham Moffatt (the fat lad) are as well-loved as the main man himself. Marriott plays old Harbottle, prematurely aged after seeing the headless horseman driving the phantom hearse. It made all his teeth fall out. The scene where he explains this to the Chief Inspector is priceless.

When he isn’t doing his constable-ing around Turnbotham Round, Harbottle runs the local stores. This shop offers a wonderful peep into rural retail customs of the day. Next time you watch ‘Ask a Policeman’ (you never watch this film just once, it bears repeated viewings) take your eyes off the main characters while they are in the stores and see what’s going on in the background.

First of all there is the library, with its notice imploring readers not to tear out pages. It seems rather a limited selection and I’m sure local avid bookworms would not be satisfied! Before local authorities opened public libraries, then you would have to use a subscription library within a shop – Boots famously ran one for several years and it features in ‘Brief Encounter’.

Then we have the brilliant notice outside the shop  - “Funerals undertaken and other odd jobs”. It seems Harbottle was happy to bury your granny and put your shelves up on the same day.

Then there is the bizarre mix of products on sale, which includes broken biscuits and dog biscuits – hope he never mixed the two up…

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Spotlight on Ask a Policeman 2

The Real Smugglers of 1939

Much of the fun in ‘Ask a Policeman’ is based around smuggling. The proper old fashioned smuggling that abounds in Cornish legend and the like – barrels of rum left in caves, mysterious lights and tunnels, villagers that clam up when a stranger is within earshot. I wanted to know if this kind of smuggling did still go on in 1939, or if Will and the gang were just taking us back in time to distract from the imminent world war.

I only came across one newspaper report from 1939 that was anything like the old smuggling stories – and this smacked more of ‘Whisky Galore’. In July of that year, ‘The Cornishman’ newspaper reported that casks of wine from a recent shipwreck were being washed up on Cornish beaches, and that the locals were rolling them home and getting drunk on the contents, making themselves “insensible”. As you would. But the more upright members of society were discussing whether the smuggling laws applied to this case because the intoxication was untaxed. So dry were the legal points being discussed in this case, I couldn’t be bothered to find out what the upshot was. Sorry.

Beware of toothless old men offering sweets

But taking a more serious turn, a search for the keyword of smuggling in the newspaper reports of 1939 turned up something else entirely. The biggest smuggling operation of that year involved people. Here are two sobering reports:

Birmingham Daily Post, May 1939

“A 28 year old former Austrian, now without a country, who was smuggled into England for £5 and started a greengrocery business in Birmingham pleaded guilty at police court of landing in the UK without permission.”

Sunderland Echo, March 1939

“An ex-sergeant of the Vienna police who was said to have been smuggled into England after being in a concentration camp pleaded guilty at Hove to having landed without permission.”

None of the reports say what happened next….

Click here to get a copy of my wartime stories

Spotlight on Ask a Policeman 1

In the Air

‘Ask a Policeman’, one of Will Hay’s finest films, was released on 28^th August 1939 - a turbulent year in British history. The next few posts will look at some rather serious historical points that this extremely funny film raises, but let’s begin by looking at items of news reported in the Daily Mirror on that day:

That man Hitler dominated the main headline, as he had refused all talks with the Poles. And to prove that it was obvious to all that war would be declared the following week, child evacuation plans were well under way. Teachers had been recalled from their summer holidays in order to rehearse the evacuation process, while 250,000 parents were given advice.  London Fire Brigade officers had also been told to cut short holidays and return to duty. There must have been a sense of impending doom hanging over London at that point – I wonder if people found ‘Ask a Policeman’ helpful in temporarily forgetting their worries, or if personal anxieties over-rode the wonderful sense of comedy in this film and it only began to be properly appreciated later on.

In lighter news, nine wedding guests got stuck in a lift in Stepney and the bride was completely unaware at the time. Meanwhile, there is the heart-warming story of two sisters who shared children. One sister had given birth to two children, while the other one’s union had not been blessed with the bawling of tiny lungs. The children therefore spent alternate weeks at each house, swapping over every Saturday. Without knowing the children, it is difficult to pinpoint which sister was kindly and generous – the one who gave her pride and joy away every other week, or the one who gave her sister a well needed break…Depends on whether they were the kind of kids who got sent to St Michaels' doesn’t it?

Click here to read more wartime stories in my latest download, 'Message in a Bobbin'

Click here to have a look at my new blog on the village halls of middle England

The First Frenchman of British Film

Like many of George Formby’s previous films, ‘Get Cracking’ was directed by Marcel Varnel. Varnel also worked with other British comedy legends such as Arthur Askey and Will Hay (and I will be focussing on ‘Ask a Policeman’ next). Surely the man who turned out such loved and remembered comedy classics as ‘Oh, Mr Porter!’ should be a bit more famous than he seems to be.

I searched the British Newspaper Archive for his obituary to try and find out more about his life. However, all I could find was the same single paragraph marking his death, tucked away at the bottom of the page in numerous provincial news sheets.  And it’s not as if he died when his star had long since faded.

Don't be fooled by the friendly smile...the man'a foreigner doncha know.

Varnel was killed in 1947, when he was aged just 53. He had been working up to the end, and his car crash death was unexpected. But there it is – a single paragraph stating that the French-born Varnel had trained in Hollywood then spent the 1930s and 40s making films in Britain. They all stressed that he was a British citizen at the time of his death, as if that had some kind of bearing on his demise, or the sadness of it. There is no mention of family, no quotes from Formby or Askey. What a sad dismissal from this life for someone who helped to make so many people happy. It just goes to show that directors then were held in nothing like the esteem that they are today.

I can only find two write-ups on Marcel Varnel that are anything approaching more in-depth than his sad obituary. One of these is his page on the BFI website – not contemporary with his life or death of course. There is also an article about ‘Oh, Mr Porter!’ in the Coventry Evening Telegraph (November 1937) that does give us a glimpse behind the curtain. It points out how remarkable Varnel’s success is…

“…but then you probably forget that Varnel is a Frenchman. For a foreigner to grasp and handle such essential English humour…is an achievement.”

It seems that Varnel was viewed as a Frenchman first and Director second. What a difference a few miles of water can make to a man’s reputation.

Click here to download stories about the 1945 audience for 'I Know Where I'm Going'

Spotlight on George Formby's Get Cracking 7

More Musings

During the course of ‘Get Cracking’ we get other glimpses of wartime initiatives. While introducing his new tank to the people of Minor Wallop, George gets back into the sulking Mary’s good books by using it to help her to sell saving stamps. The government encouraged people to use their national savings scheme in order to fund the war. Stamps could be purchased for various amounts and stuck onto a card. Full cards could then be exchanged for a bond which attracted a good interest rate. This use of a tank to help publicise them reflected real life, where communities might be encouraged to buy enough stamps to meet the cost of a Spitfire.

 Strangest wartime glimpse of them all in this film is the young girl evacuee that is billeted at George’s house.  For the purposes of the film it appears that they live together alone, something that is highly incongruous to modern eyes. Perhaps another example of Formby trying, but being no longer able to pass himself off as a youngster. Having said that, there is one scene where a housekeeper figures appears to be hovering in the background, waiting to take the young girl inside.  But still, would a single little girl have been billeted with a single man? I’m torn between finding this hard to believe and that knowledge that evacuees were often difficult to place – and perhaps some were put into unsuitable houses just to get them off the billeting officer’s hands. Or is it all artistic licence?

My new collection of short stories is available for download now. Three of the five stories are set in wartime Skipton, Yorkshire. Each one was inspired by a Yorkshire Post newspaper article about something connected with the Belle Vue Mill, home of the Sylko cotton reel.

Click here for an Amazon Kindle download

click here for a pdf download from Etsy

Spotlight on George Formby's Get Cracking 6

Tank Top

After George’s disgrace over failing to secure the spare gun for Minor Wallop Home Guard, he must redeem himself. This is what George Formby films are all about, after all. And this redemption stays on the theme of weaponry by George constructing himself a tank. That’s right lads and lasses, a tank.  In civilian life, George is a mechanic, running his own garage that currently boasts no petrol and no spares. So, he is able to spend his days converting his work truck with corrugated iron pinched from a chicken coop. Back in the platoon’s good books, George and his tank (christened Mary Mk 1) are commissioned to represent Minor Wallop in manoeuvres against Major Wallop. Being on the receiving end of Ronald Shiner’s dirty tricks, George gets properly shot at by the real army while he is in the process of invading the neighbouring village.  But of course, George rolls into Major Wallop triumphant and gets a promotion to boot.  Finally, the two platoons are told that they are to merge – which they agree to do quite happily – and they begin making plans to trounce another neighbouring settlement’s platoon. After all at the bottom of it, they are all one against Jerry.

Formby sang about Frank on his Tank being a Swank - then built his own!

Along the way, there is a reminder of a more sinister aspect of the Home Guard’s manoeuvres – that is, what they have been formed to do. George has difficulty in getting his tank going because he is missing a rotor arm for the truck’s engine.  We learn during the process that rotor arms had been removed from the engines of vehicles in case of invasion – an early immobiliser. The invasion that was so anticipated in the early 1940s never took place, so we don’t fully know what tactics the Home Guard would have used to hold enemy forces back…but this little part of the storyline gives us one clue and it is momentarily sobering – invasion really could have happened, and how many of these parochial soldiers that we now laugh at every week in ‘Dad’s Army’ and in this film would have given up their lives?

More wartime film fun with me and Joyce - click here

Spotlight on George Formby's Get Cracking 5

Home Guard Games

The story within the film ‘Get Cracking’ is all rather like an extended episode of ‘Dad’s Army’ and one wonders how well Croft and Perry knew this film. George Formby plays a member (occasional Corporal) of the Home Guard in the village of Minor Wallop. The story begins, after the initial scene setting, when it is discovered that a gun has been left at the local railway station goods depot without a label. A porter telephones to see if it belongs to their platoon, or to the one at Major Wallop. George is immediately despatched on his motor bike to go and claim it before the Major Wallopers hear about it. But the Home Guard office is situated in the back room of the pub, and little do they know, but the barmaid is a fifth columnist. She fancies Ronald Shiner’s character, who is part of Major Wallop’s platoon. The barmaid telephones Shiner and delivers the information on the gun in the hope of a back row liaison at the flicks in return. Shiner’s character sets out for the gun too, and the usual trademark Formby chaos ensues as they collide, then fight to get there first. George loses the gun and to add insult to injury he is accused of giving the game away. He is stripped of his stripe and is in disgrace. So, what with the local Home Guard rivalry between platoons and the acute lack of proper weapons there is more than a touch of Dad’s Army here.

You can have a gun and no uniform, or you can have a uniform and no gun, but you can't have both.

 Of course, I’m not accusing Croft and Perry of plagiarism – the point is that they both reflect the Home Guard as it was, each corroborating the other’s evidence.  It is known that the lack of available uniform and weaponry beset the Local Defence volunteers from the beginning. But I think that it also shows what we all suspect about men of a certain age. Get them together in a unit that has to compete with another one, then they will try their best to outdo each other at all costs as if they were back in the playground!

Mention must also be made at this point of the welcome appearance of E V H Emmett’s voice as the film opens. The famous tones of the Gaumont News narrator (well known to Carry on fans as the voiceover in ‘Carry On Cleo’) is used to commentate on the initial formation of the Home Guard in Major and Minor Wallop, describing how one got weapons while the other got uniform. He really gets the film going with a smile and sets the scene brilliantly.

Click here to download my Bishop's Wallop novella for just £1.29!

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